Monday, September 8, 2008

Michael Phelps has gotta be GAY


Michael Phelps is just adorable, and wasn’t it so precious how his first thought after each gold medal win, was to go see his mother, Debbie Phelps. So sweet and oh so gay!

Phelps is obviously a “mama’s boy”, but look at his cute face and slim sexy body!

With each win, Phelps climbed into the stands to embrace his mother, Debbie Phelps, and two sisters, Whitney and Hilary, and their emotions poured forth.

“She cried, my sisters cried, I cried,” Michael Phelps said. “It’s been a really fun week.” Crying with your mothers and sisters is quantifiably GAY. If crying with your mother and sisters is considered fun then you are GAY certified. And so great!

After every win, Phelps would give the flowers to his mother that he received on the Olympic podium. Her hotel room must have looked like a florist shop, which is also GAY. She’s having the flowers preserved.

Her son is saving every swim cap, every suit, every pair of goggles and every article of clothing he wore. Hey, those would be a great additions to my Michael Phelps shrine I currently have planned for the totally unnecessary workshop that came with my house.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Jennifer Lopez must have fallen on her head

is michael phelps gay - still out for debate
MNSBC has just reported JLo’s recent comments about our beloved hardbody Michael Phelps. Apparently, Lopez recently appeared on "Good Morning America" to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, and was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer”.
“She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner ) Michael Phelps’ name, and then she blabbered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ ”
This is the funniest thing I have ever heard of. Good for JLo for training for a triathlon and I understand she is raising money for charity but what a freakin’ ditz to compare her story with the story of the best Olympian of all time, super hot Michael Phelps.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Michael Phelps to host season premiere of "Saturday Night Live"

Michael Phelps hosting Saturday Night Live

Really? I mean really really? This is very exciting.

He can swim, but can he act?

We'll soon find out. Olympic superstar Michael Phelps will host the season premiere of NBC's "Saturday Night Live" on Sept. 13. The late-night institution will start its 34th year next month. He must be so nervous. I hope he isn’t shy. And I hope he is at least sort of funny.

Lil Wayne will be the musical guest. Apparently, Lil Wayne is a musical favorite of Michael Phelps. Really? I mean really really?

You know what I hope for? Can he please please host the whole Saturday Night Live episode in his teeny tiny speedos? That would be very fun to watch. Really, and I mean REALLY!

Friday, August 22, 2008

I vote that Michael Phelps be Gay

Yup, that’s my vote and I’m voting twice.
Wouldn’t it be great if he locked up about a billion dollars in promotional endorsements in iron-clad contracts and then said “By the way, I’m gay, as gay as a frosted flake!” That would be an ultimate dream come true. It would only be slightly better if he added, “And Amanda Beard keeps calling me even though I’ve asked her to stop.”
And then once he came out as a gay man, NBC would immediately announce “The Gay Bachelor” and Yours Truly would commence at 6,000 daily sit-up regime to prepare for auditions. I would spend days coming up with witty banter on various interesting and important topics. And then Michael Phelps would propose to me. And I would accept. And we would get married.

I already like his mom so it’s perfect.
I’m voting three times.